So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
