So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
