Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
