i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I am mentally ready for anal.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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