That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
