bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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