I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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