I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
this hospital has no fireball
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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