I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
