i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
