I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
