sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Randomize