oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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