i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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