your room smells of hookers.
And success
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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