then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
