I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
