Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
