I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
