I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
