He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
