so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
