haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Randomize
