But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
