what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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