My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So much rum. So many feels.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
