like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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