Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize