I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
