Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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