ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
