Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
