you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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