i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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