sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
