if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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