If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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