it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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