we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
