im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
