she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
