Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
