Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
