This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
