We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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