He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
