he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
