The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
