what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
