You're completely useless in the revolution.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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