I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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