white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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