He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
is it fun? or sober?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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