We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
