hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
this hospital has no fireball
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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