Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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