so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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