I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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